Well, it's Friday, but . . .

It hasn't really been that good of a day. Although I am not working today, I did forget to turn in a scholarship application for some Honors program, so that probably won't be happening. I don't really think I would get that one anyway. Unfortunately, I was pretty much hoping on getting at least one (I was actually praying for a sweep) from the department until I found out that all of the scholarships are going to the resident militant feminazi. My apps will likely wind up in the "MEN" pile, a receptacle which strangely resembles a trash can. Good times.

So the dentist visit today was a complete asswhip. My wife tells me "be there at 9:45 in case you have to fill out paperwork." So I stay at my mom's house an hour away on Thursday nights, and I'm leaving there at 8:30, to make sure I'm there on time. So I'm strolling in the door cool as a fucking cucumber at 9:40 ready to get this shit over with. I bring the David Sedaris book with me because, well, I am in a waiting room. So I was prepared for a wait.

So I walk up to sign in, and the receptionist tells me that my exam has been postponed until a later date, but that my cleaning had been moved to 11:00. So I waste my morning walking through Wal-mart (which is just next door) and boring my brother who I called on my cell phone. ***************[There may be few things worse (besides the sniffling sound of the woman) than being called by somebody who has nothing to do. There isn't really anything to talk about, so you basically deal with them narrating whatever the fuck they're doing: "Hey these are some cool ass soap dispensers" or "Have you ever used the laundry detergent with the Febreze in it? It's the shit, right?" or "Man, you should have seen this really tall bitch. She was like a fucking giant."]***************
Anyway, at 10:55 I was once again posted up in the waiting room, literally crying from the Sedaris book because I was laughing so hard. People began looking at me funny, but once I had screamed "STOP FUCKING LOOKING AT ME!!" at this one lady, they all left me alone. Well, actually she wasn't really a lady. I think she was six. But whatever, I hate people staring. It's so rude.

As I'm giggling, the receptionists calls my name and tells me that they were running behind and that it would be another twenty minutes or so. "That's fine," I responded. I don't really have anything to do, so I figured I would just sit and read anyway. Two minutes later, they call me to the back for . . . yes, xrays. So I'm thinking, well, maybe they can squeeze me in after all. So the aide or assistant or whatever is cramming those hard plastic pieces in my mouth so far that I thought she was trying to xray my fucking esophagus. My eyes are watering like crazy (I told you I had been crying before) but now it's because I've got this thing way too far down my throat, and I am beginning to gag. The lady looks at me in terror for a second as she removes the film, but calms down once I tell her that I'm not going to yack on her or anything. I then tell her that I don't see how people can deal with things being shoved down their throat. I then stare in a very suspicious and accusatory manner at her just to make her uncomfortable.

That being done, I soon find myself on an epic quest, following this assistant down different hallways and back. I think she was trying to lose me, particularly after my gagging comments, but I followed as cleverly as Gollum himself. She finally located my exam room and ushered me in. Then the chaos began.

I was informed that my cleaning had actually been scheduled for 9:45 that morning, and it was my fault that I missed it. Another woman told me I had missed my appointment for the cleaning because I needed an exam first. The dentist dude came in and asked me if I had had my cleaning yet. All in all it wasted about an 2-3 hours of my life that I will never get back. Plus I have to get my wisdom teeth yanked sometime after the insurance people clear it. Fuck me.

I think I'll keep reading today. Softball practice tonight. Soccer game tomorrow. Papers and more papers to write this weekend. I think I'll get drunk tomorrow evening, if only to make up for the day I'm having today.