Spiderman Returns

Last night was fairly productive for two reasons: No one showed up half (or completely) drunk and reeking of alcohol for class last night; I finally finished the Sedaris book.

What's really funny, though, is that Spiderman made his triumphant return to class the other day. Sure, the guy's been there, but not in full garb. E and I discussed what types of headwear might be appropriate for such a fashionable piece of clothing. Later, E perhaps said the meanest thing that I've ever heard exit her mouth. As the professor was late in arriving, most of the students were holding their own conversations--though obviously not about Othello. We began talking about clothing and we got on the subject of ties, and how many of us were fans of the tie. Not that they're all that comfortable or anything like that, but I like to buy ties and wear ties, and it's not so bad once you get used to them.

Keep in mind that Spiderman is sitting about eight feet away from us the whole time.

So one student mentions a TA in our department that has a tendency toward wearing weird ties--ties with cartoon characters, etc. It was at this point that I address the group with "I won't wear novelty ties. They're fucking stupid-looking. I hate them." To which E responds (a little more loudly than she will admit) : "What about novelty T-shirts?" I don't know if anybody heard, but I was about ready to fall out of my chair. I didn't have the heart to see if the poor bastard had a reaction to it, and mean as it was, it was probably the funniest shit I heard all day.

Along with the awesomely fantastic shirt, I also noted that he wears a digital watch, the kind that probably sells for $3.99 at Wal-Mart. Along with the shirt I'm sure the watch was probably the rest of his gift from his mom on his last (and probably about his 25th) birthday.

He is a fucking dill.

Add to that the fact that he wears a hat (with a bill in serious need of some curl) with a sewed-on American flag on the front, much like those you can find in any retirement community anywhere in these United States. Style and fashion is obviously not his strong point, though I must admit that he makes up for it through his constant academic and critical dishonesty (see previous definition of dill). Sometime during the evening, I looked at his shoes and was disappointed to notice that he wasn't wearing ones with velcro straps. I don't think I've ever seen him open his mouth in any class to converse on a personal level with anyone--he always reserves his speech for the sole purpose of espouse someone else's critical ideas and theories--all the while grinning like a fox. A bitch fox. At some point, he interrupted T, and T countered with his own interruption. It was at this point that Peter Parker became so enraged that his eyes began to glow a bright red. I was afraid that he was about to start shooting webs all over the place.