Things that made me giggle this week

It's been a weird week.

• I saw a grown man wearing a spiderman shirt. It's really obnoxious, kinda like a NASCAR shirt. --Note: I actually watch NASCAR, but even some fans (particularly those still blessed with all of their teeth) would agree that lots of their merchandise is way over the top. --Anyway, this guy's shirt was obscenely decorated, and is practically identical to a pair of pajamas in my own house. The main difference, of course, is that they belong to my son. And he's four.
• I had an interesting discussion with the Goose concerning nipples. We shyed away from an analysis of the breast, preferring to focus primarily on the oddity of the sagging nipple. I'm not sure if this is actually possible, but the thought of a long, drooping nipple seems funny.
• I heard a guy say the other day that there is no reason to put clown makeup on a midget. Figure that out.
• I had a really bad nightmare that woke me up the other night. It involved having a miserable teaching experience in the classroom. Needless to say, I got out of bed immediately and got drunk.
• Why is that after my wife goes to the store, the only thing I can find to eat are Pringles?
• Another man referred to a class of lit students as geeks. Being calm and well-mannered people, we finished our discussion, then abruptly stoned him to death.
• The best question all week, though, was this gem: "What is literature?" Intended merely to bog the class down with a rather cliche'd discussion point, we all responded by rolling our eyes, dropping to the floor and convulsing. Two people died.

A note for those involved in the upcoming road trip, there are likely to be cigars in LR as well. It's the only way I'll be able to keep my sanity from the expected onslaught of Dave Matthews and John Maher(sp?). Perhaps I'll light it up during our panel discussion. I could see Elise burning through a pack of smokes (we will be there an hour after all), while Andi blogs. The Goose will be unable to do any extracurricular activities during our panel discussion, as he will probably still be working on his paper.